Here you can find the best collection of Funny Quotes and Sayings. Send Funny Quotes and Sayings to your best Friends by using lovesongspk best funny quote selection. Below is the list of varity of humour quotes from the best authors of the world.
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A bank is a place where they loan you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it starts to rain.
- Robert Frost
" Money can not buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours. "
" I had rather have Lockheed transport the mail than ride around in a plane built by the post office. "
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
-- Demetri Martin
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it appears like an hour. Sit with a beautiful girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working.
- Peter Sellers
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I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.
Men are similar to parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Marriage is the triumph of mind's eye over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Oscar Wilde
Whenever I see an old lady slips and fall on a wet path,
my first nature is to laugh.
But then I think what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.
Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
Try praising your wife, still if it does frighten her at first.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. -- General George Patton
Children are unpredictable. You never know what contradiction they're going to catch you in next.
Franklin P. Jones
Nothing can amaze a wise man more than laughter from a dunce. ----
Lord Byron